Unknown

I feel very strange and it's ok. However it’s not that kind of feeling that is empowering. There is not much over of the sense of omnipotence. I decided to accept my power. I am having dreams and going through inner experiences that are not all easy to grasp with the mind but they do not leave me with a sense of power!

The 3 words, which have been repeated the most in my mind and on my tongue today is: "I DON'T KNOW" and Yes, in capital letters. Is that the stage needed in order to get access to that part of being, the un-manifest, the unknown? Or is it just that I know but I am afraid of knowing? The answer is again I don't know. I guess I must accept the fact that I don't know. I just don't know.

I even cannot dream. I am scared of dreaming or I am disappointed because of the experiences of dreaming and not seeing it happening. I have seen them happening but not for me.

Some times I want to be daring enough to ask myself if I had all the power, if I was the omnipotence, what would I want to see manifest in this life for me? But I cannot dream, because I am afraid that it will not happen and I will be even more disappointed.

How about just give it another chance and let it go? Am I daring enough to do that? I know that things had happened very clearly in front of my nose. Those were happened in the moments that I was truly in the knowingness of Omnipotence; speaking a word and then letting go of it, then to realize later that it had happened. During the last couple of days though I have not been in that knowingness and by that no words of power could come out of my mouth.

I saw in a dream couple of days ago that my ego, my enemy was sitting beside me very friendly and was talking to me words of inspiration, giving to me admiration and empowering me to go forward, to gain back all that I had lost.

If I am honest to myself at this moment and if I could act or speak from that seat of power, I would get rid of the person who had reflected to me very clearly the enemy, whatever that could mean or represent too. My will is to get rid of that person in my experience of life and my will in to have my child with me and my will is to have my house filled with those who are not polluting it but are bringing light and joy in it. And my Will is to have that mirror which reflects me back with that image and beauty which makes my life, makes my world shine in front of me. I know that I am becoming more and more aware of my love for myself, of my true worth and of my right to have a fortunate life, in all senses. I know that I have been enough experiencing misfortune and darkness and I know that darkness brought me to this point in order to know myself better and allow myself to be more and more the true me, every and each day.